Making Changes in Your Life | even when you’re not ready
Making changes in life can be so hard. Patterns, familiarity, and routines of the day are comfortable and non-stressful because it’s the known. How to deal with life changes — even when you’re not ready — let’s start in these 5 steps.
Got to love the mom life, so I’m going to switch storytelling gears by using the example of life changes with a baby. (don’t they just turn your world upside down!) But with their immense growth in their first year of life comes the entire realm of life changes being made every few months. (sometimes weeks) Gives me whiplash sometimes. Babies are the perfect example of life changes.
Having a new baby brings so much joy.
But, as a mom, I find that it’s so hard to keep up!
I just get settled into having this little baby at a stage and alllllll the needs that go into that particular stage and then the baby grows, changes and with that — her needs.
Example story …
As I’m at home, most days, I dress my baby in comfy sleepers. Not many baby outfits in our house. (On purpose… jeans on a baby = no thanks.)
But we do have some outfits for those special outing trips.
Except for the times when baby grows up without me realizing it.
Here I am this one Sunday morning trying to squeeze her into this cute little baby church dress. It was still in her age range according to the clothing tag. After the final button, I hold her up by the armpits and laugh! I could see her cute dimpled belly button! Her darling Sunday Best squished up around her arms forcing them to stick stiffly out!
She literally grew past this baby stage and I didn’t even really realize it (of course this has to happen when we are in a rush to get everyone out the door!)
The life changes happen fast!
This happened again when my daughter, who has been in a cradle and our bedroom, hit the 6-month mark and really needed to move out of our bedroom and the cradle. I felt like I one day looked down at her sleeping in the cradle and she filled it up completely. Another stage – gone.
I knew she needed to move into a crib but I just needed to mourn the loss of another stage gone — even more so now knowing that she’s my last baby.
So here I am with her crib washed but in pieces in her sister’s room. The cradle packed up and gone to the next little newborn (not mine!) that will need it. But I, seriously just need a moment to catch up. Take a breath, pause, reflect, process and then move forward with life’s changes.
How can we keep up with making life changes even when we are not ready? I’m starting here with these 5 steps:
1 | Talk about it
It’s as simple as telling my mom about the changes we’re making because she cares about her grandkids and wants to hear about what’s going on. I talked about it with my mother-in-law, and (definitely) my husband. (not in that order 🙂 ) I talked about it with my sisters who are my best friends so I can tell them about little things that are going on in our life. As simple as moving a baby from a cradle to a crib. Find someone who cares (even a little) and talk about any change that is happening in your life. It helps to mentally and emotional process.
2 | Make a plan
Like seriously, I live by plans! (I have a spreadsheet of plans) So I made a plan for the cradle to crib episode. I wasn’t going to one day take apart the cradle and not have the crib set up. Right?! Change is going to happen but I’m going to anticipate it by preparing what I can get done ahead of time.
If you’re unsure where to start making plans then google it! A place that I like to start researching for babies would be babycenter.ca
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3 | Give yourself a deadline and tell somebody about it
How true is it that if it’s just us and just in our heads— we never have a deadline and will probably continue to procrastinate.
Great way to hold yourself accountable is to tell somebody about your deadline. This kinda can be slipped in with #1. So for example of the cradle to the crib story … I told my older daughters that their baby sister was moving into their bedroom with them, in about 10 days. They’re old enough that they can countdown from 10. So they would come up to me (every day) and tell me how many days were left till the baby moved in. A daily reminder that I needed to finish the process of getting the crib moved into their room.
Kids are great accountability holders.
4 | Start the process
Go ahead, be dramatic, and make it process
What I mean by that is — take your time.
One day I took the crib up from the basement then 2 days later I was washing it. Two days later I set it up in the girl’s room. It may not be very efficient but it was literally all that I could handle. Yes, sure for the emotional process, but also for the free time that I had (or didn’t have) around caring for little ones at home.
Take what you can handle and handle it.
So when I started this process of moving her from cradle to crib it took a couple of weeks, to be honest. But I’m forever grateful because it mentally gave me a chance just to stop, breath, and cherish the last moments that she was in the cradle in our bedroom.
I can take the time to make the mental shift and I can get to the point that I say “YES, this change is a good thing.”
5 | Celebrate
Seriously when babies move on from stage to stage I can get can get so caught up in mourning the loss of a stage that I forget to celebrate the major milestones that she’s accomplished.
So if you’ve just gone through a life change, grab a camera, snap a picture, or write it on the calendar. Whatever it is that will get you to stop, take a moment to celebrate that thing that just happened and changed your life.
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So whatever mom-life-stage you are in and if you feel that the changes are coming at you fast; talk about it, make a plan, give yourself a deadline, grace yourself with time, and lastly celebrate. You got this! Even if you don’t feel like it.
What process do you use to help you coup and process change? Drop it in the comments below to share your wisdom with others. Love to hear from you.
By: Sharon Schuler