The thing that never happens. That we never do. The deed that could be kept a secret. That slimy thing that only the worst people do in books or movies or probably that other mom. The slow decaying disease of …


I cringe at the word.

I pride myself on not practicing gossip. People that gossip have no idea how silly they sound! Who really cares about a neighbor’s personal life! and when something really juicy comes up for gossip it just looks even worse on you for re-sharing information that’s NOT yours!


I can tell the story and yet withhold the persons name right?! Of course that makes me a better person and probably doesn’t classify the verbal pour out that just happened as gossip right?!


I am completely honest and tell my hubby everything people tell me and then what I think of everything, but that’s not gossip either because he would never tell anyone and besides… he’s my husband! definitely NOT gossip.

Justification in all the above is a beautiful thing!

Gossip definition is: casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true

or my personal favorite definition — the derogatory definition: a person who likes talking about other people’s private lives.

Oh man!

I gossip all the time!

But secretly … I knew it a long. When I’m done pouring out details of other people’s personal lives to my friends, while trying to make myself feel better because I’m withholding names. But everyone kinda knows who we are talking about. I leave feeling great!

That’s why I keep coming back for more!

It feels good to gossip.

Get your mind off your own personal stuff for a while and talk about someone else. But it also feels good at the center of attention of my friends, just for 5 mins and have the power of having the scoop that the other don’t have.

Feel good.


Gossip is great.

Until the gossip and my 2 seconds of fame are over. 

The crowd (or husband) head out and I’m left standing there — feeling cheap, feeling like I sold something for 2 cents… 

My integrity!

Seriously, this isn’t high school, I’m not a kid. Can’t I keep my integrity intact when I have information burning a hole in my tongue?

I pride myself on having integrity. I work on it daily.

Yet fail at it daily!

Have you ever felt like this?! Cheap and used by the power that the information that you gossiped out had a hold on you. Empty, after the gossip was gone. Guilty, because you really weren’t going to say anything, BUT did spilled the beans anyways. Unworthy of trust because you can’t hold your beans?!

I’m right with you!

I think that there is also this fear of not having anything to talk about. I can fill up the space between me and whoever with other people’s personal stuff though?!

Stopping this habit is tough:

I know. And it’s not going to be perfect. Right?! Couple of things I’ll be trying would be:

1)Stopping the negative gossip that does hurt people.

2)Practise changing the subject when something or someone comes up that I want to spill the beans about

3)Possibly even walking away if I can’t hold it in

4)Knowing the difference between a vent session and a gossip session. I’ll still need to vent once in a while!

5)Leaving empty word space between hubby and me if I have nothing more to say in the moment. = more cuddle time!

If you want to change your gossip cycle, start out small.

Think about what practically you can do. (ie. have practice lines ready for when certain people or subjects come up.)

Most importantly, let’s not get hung up about the slip ups.

They will happen, but the awareness of it happening along with the need to move to something that doesn’t leave you an empty void after your done talking , is enough to guarantee that you will MAKE that change slowly happen. 

By:Sharon Schuler

Sharon Schuler

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