When there is Nothing Left to Give | 3 ways to fill up
Moms reach that point.
Like hitting a brick wall.
Or realizing that you just walked into a room again for the third time trying to remember something that you were going to get that was really important, but have no idea what.
Or being super busy all day, but feeling like your accomplishing nothing.
Or just sitting starting at the wall wondering what’s next on the check list but not moving.
Or turning on the TV again to keep the kids quiet because you really couldn’t handle another screech, while you dive into your secret stash of chocolate.
That really resonates with me.
I’ve been there.
It’s not depression feeling but empty feeling. There literally is nothing left to give.
Not more time — that’s slipped away from you and has no meaning anymore.
Not more care — the care and love are all used up.
Not more empathy, or sympathy.
Not more chef time, or doctor time or any other “time” roles that a mom will run through in her day.
I can’t stay in this place forever and never move on. Although there is no care to move on. So now what.
Time to fill up the mom tank.
Literally – your sleep habits this past week; Did you get enough sleep? Do you wake up feeling rested?
If the answer is “no” take a look through your calendar at the week that has gone by.
What thing is it that took your sleep from you?
Staying up to late watching Netflix’s? Sick child waking up throughout the night? New born baby and everyone is recovering? More brain power, including nighttime going into special projects, for work or your hobby’s?
What has sucked up your sleep time?
Know what come next then right?!
Time to cut — cut out the sleep stealer,
cut out the excuses of ‘why” you can’t get to bed on time,
cut out the extra’s that take from your tank, and don’t help “replace”.
It’s painful, and I’m preaching to the choir, because this is exactly where I’m at!
Time to set up, shut-up and for me to get more sleep! Whether through naps, going to bed earlier (cringe) or trying to sleep-in a bit more.
Know how MUCH sleep you need is very important too.
Without proper sleep there is no base for me to start from. If I wake up tired than I’m already running on fumes to START the day
— and really?!
… how else did I expect the day to end BUT in an empty shell-of-a-mom!
Each day— to do something that you love. Whether reading a book, watching an episode, spending time journaling, or taking a quiet walk.
Make the time to make it happen.
Because honestly — the things that we love to do … we still squeeze them in our days.
Whether its late at night, or while the kids nap, or a few extra quiet minutes that we can catch here and there.
Just this past week, I felt like there had been no resting time to do what I love throughout the day.
and I felt cheated.
What reality was that I had enough time to watch almost 2 movies that day, if I added up all the screen time I stole here and there. I felt sick, because nothing on my “to do” list was accomplished and I still was left feeling empty at the end of the day. Although I had tried to fill the “empty” watching movies here and there it didn’t work. I was grabbing at the first thing — for me — to try to fill me up.
If I had started the day by setting aside a certain chunk of time that will be just for me to do that one thing that I love — then I could’ve spend the rest of the day being productive. Instead of trying to sneak pieces of quick fillers that I really didn’t want.
After that last embarrassing, wasteful, day: I’ve set aside 8-9:30pm as my time to watch a show on Netflix or read a book. My time to do what I love. There are no interruptions. I’m not trying to still be productive at 9pm at night.
Try to figure out what works for you.
What are your power hours?
What habits do you have established to take the “thinking” out of your day?
When is your down time? and do you protect it?
I Love this point
…and I hate it.
Because I know that I will feel good about myself and this step will go a long way to fill up my mom tank.
But there have been so many years of leaving mom till last — in my mind — take care of the family first
— that the legs remain unshaved and hair never blown dried feeling fresh. A little bit of self-care goes a long way for my self-esteem, and filling up my empty tank.
What is something you’ve wanted to do to take care of yourself but push aside until “later”?
Hair cut? hair color? TLC the finger nails? polish the nails with your favorite color? shave the legs? wax the body? head out for a massage? putting on your makeup in your morning routine? starting to exercise? getting on a healthy eating routine? making “just-for-mom” lunch?
Take a moment a write down 2 things that would make you feel better about yourself and fill you up because you are taking take of you.
I’m having a hard time following my own advice. But if I’m honest and I start with step #1 the rest does fall into place. But I know that sleep for me is HUGE.
What is a HUGE step for you Busy Mom?
Do you get enough sleep?
Do you save some time each day to do something that you LOVE?
Do you pamper and/or take care of your beautiful body?
Which place will you start at?
By: Sharon Schuler