Unnecessary Expectations and Defeating Despair : for Today, NOT Tomorrow
After pouring your heart and soul into a project you come up for air at the end. It was a long haul, and you made some sacrifices on the way. Not the sacrifices that makes you a martyr or a saint, just sacrifices. Sacrifices that states that this project that you’ve completed was important. So important that you gave up things along way so that you could finish your work.
Now the work is done one of two things will happen. #1. You will fly on the wings of exhilaration, pride, and accomplishment on the work that you have finished. All exceeded your expectation. #2. You will fall into depths of despair because your hard work failed your expectations and is now just lying there.
When you hit #2. … You have a choice. And it will be a brave choice, or a wimpy choice.
Brave: Pick yourself up and dust off the expectations you had of your work and state the good that came from your work. Step back and take a look at the big picture. Lets try that again?!
Wimpy: Lie down in the dirt of expectations failed and have a good cry (and possibly some chocolate) feel miserable and let the failure of your hard work soak through your entire being. Give up that project and never try again.
Now looking at the two choices it’s simple and easy to say that obviously anyone and everyone will advise you to take the “Brave” choice. Obviously! But… when you are that person that is sitting in self inflicted failure and depression of a job that has flopped, the last thing that you want is for someone to tell you “Be Brave.” Right?!
This (#2) happened to me today: We (my mommy friends and I) had our Yard Sale. We put a lot of hard work into today to make it happen. Some of us left our kids at home and some of us brought our kids along. We spent time, setting up and cleaning up. We spent our time selling items out of our church parking lot. We sorted things and priced things. We drove a truck full of leftover yard sale items to our local second hand store. We worked hard.
I drove home feeling like a failure. We worked so hard and did not raise a lot of money. At least not what I expected. I wanted to cry. Better still, I wanted to give up the whole thing, wash my hands of it and say “Never again!” “Someone else can do it!” I’m at home in the dark writing this, radiating not only with a sunburn but with this dreaded feeling of a complete failure.
Then I remember the words that my mom friends said to me today. “What a beautiful day for a Yard Sale.” (Oh right the sun was shining after a rain shower scare early this morning) “Wow, clean up went really fast this year!’ (Yeah, we had a lot more people helping clean up and a big truck to haul it all away)
Nice to see so many people come through (Alright, the crowds weren’t as BIG as last year, but we still had enough people come through)
It's great that we made that much money in ONLY 5hrs (I wasn’t as much money as I expected but NO I could have never come up with this much money on my own!)
Nice to have a break from the regular routine and away from the kids. (Yes, we worked hard, but boy! Time really flew by and I didn’t have to think about taking care of anyone but JUST mommy for once. Yes that was a nice break)
Alright, alright, I’ll make the `Brave
choice. But I’ll do that tomorrow when I’ve moved from my puddle of failure, depression and (ouch!) self-pity intothe BIG picture.
Right now I just want to wallow and complain. Because it's...lets say it... it's hard work to move out of that hole of failure and into theBrave
, orBIG picture“ or whatever you want to call it.
Especially when you are sun-burnt and tired and drain.
It was a GOOD day. But I’ll say that tomorrow. And… when I say it tomorrow it will be true! It was a GOOD day. I’ll keep thinking about the positive truths that my friends and my man spoke into our project today.
Happy Mother’s Day Busy Mom’s!
By: Sharon Schuler
P.S. See the BIG picture and be encouraged!