Ignoring my Kids | 3 ways to change
The start of the day — there are big plans.
Then the day happens.
Flying by with things to do, meals to eat, and activities to accomplish.
I don’t know about you busy moms, but there are days that fly by and everyone is in bed, and I say to myself…
…”I didn’t really see much of my kids today.” — Even though we were together all day.
My son had done his thing; playing toys, running around outside, sorting hockey cards, eating the food I prepared, and doing his chores that he was asked. Not all perfectly, but it happened.
I had been working through my “to-do” list, plus the regular chores of laundry, making supper, setting and clearing the kitchen, taking care of the little children, and finding a moment to sit down in the afternoon while the older kids enjoyed their TV program.
We had been side by side all day long and yet I feel like I ignored my kids, all day long. Working and living side by side is not a bad thing.
My precious kids that I do all this work with and for and yet I felt that there was NO connection!
Sometimes I complain and mourn this loss. I just need to give myself permission to let this pessimistic attitude go and really look for ways through-out the day to connect to my kids.
Reasons not to complain that I ignored my kids all day long is that —
1) we did connect in small ways throughout the day.
Sure it was no deep sit down talk, or “movie moment” … but kids don’t need that all the time. Me — I need that “meaningful talk” everyday, to feel like I’m connecting with people.
That’s me though, not them. I need to remember that and hold onto the small connections.
2)tiredness at the end of the day.
The last thing any mom needs at the end of the day is to let her mind reel of daytime memories highlight all the ways that she failed.
When us moms are tired and spent, those little improvements that we need to work on (in ourselves or our homes) seem like BIGGEST failures of motherhood that the world has ever seen.
Shut off your mom brain at night and just go to bed.
3)if I don’t like it — I need to change it.
If I need to feel like I’m connecting more with my kids, then I need to develop a routine, and habit to connect. Starting small. (ie. right after supper ask my daughter to read to me. As this helps practice her reading skills and it’s just us. What I have to deal with is leaving the dirty supper dishes on the table for an extra 20mins. Gasp! Horror! 🙂 )
We moms can get so caught up in our weeks worth of work. It’s good to have these feeling of ‘lack of connection’. It makes us aware of how we are parenting our kids.
Remember: that there will always be room for improvement though. So hold on tight to the small things that get accomplished in parenting your kids. Even write them down if you have a hard time remembering.
You are not a failure Busy Mom.
Your doing a great job, one day at a time!
By: Sharon Schuler