Guarding Your Heart Against Your Dark Side | 3 things to proactively do!

As Busy Moms we give our all throughout the day. Whether you want to or not — time and nurturing are demanded from you.

At the end of the day Busy Moms are full.

Usually, in our exhaustion and pouring out, there is nothing left at the end of the day.

Which is not a bad thing.

You have given your time and effort to do what you love the most and your heart is full of all the good and the other stuff that went on throughout your day.

Your mind is full of thoughts. Your heart is full of emotions and memories. There’s no more room to stuff more experiences in — at the end of the day.

So here we are full, at the end of the day, and pieces of our dark side can slip in or rise to the surface.

What I mean by dark side is; the things that you guard yourself against because you know it’s your weakness. They are our weaknesses that we are strong with in the day-time, but weak with in — often giving into during the night-time.

They are those things that you KNOW that you and you alone are more susceptible to do or think; when you are tired.

For example: the kids are all in bed. I’m a little hungry, I go for that yummy cookie that has been calling my name all day but I’ve resisted  — up until now. BUT NOW I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m deserving of some “me” time. I REALLY LOVE COOKIES and I know I shouldn’t have any — but I promise myself “just two” but my “dark side” rises up and takes over. Self-control has fled the scene and when all is said and done… I’ve eaten the dozen cookies that were left — just as I, deep down, excepted that I would.

Dark Side : things that you wish you didn’t do. But things that we all struggle against because we still do them.

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This past summer I had the great opportunity to take care of our Holstein calves.

They are SO cute!

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They are SO much work!

Why— because they can be so perky and eating well one day. While the next day they can be lying in their huts staring at their wall — sick.

They can get sick really fast because their little bodies are still working on developing an immune system.

They can tell you that they are getting sick too, by giving you signs, to tip you off.

But you, the diligent caretaker have to be aware and constantly looking for these signs.

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You can watch energy levels, as a healthy calf will come quickly to their breakfast and eagerly drink it up. A sick calf will not. But before a calf gets really sick, you need to notice and be aware of the sign that it is getting sick. It’s lack of energy and only finishing 1/2 its breakfast is a great sign. Two “bad” feedings in a row and you should be on red alert to DO SOMETHING!

Before your calf gets REALLY sick.

Calves don’t go from healthy to deathly sick without giving you a sign. There is nothing that stands in the calves way of getting deathly sick expect YOU…. It’s YOUR job to protect them!

That’s why they are so much work.

But there is a PLAN — calf care happens ON PURPOSE. A healthy heifer is NOT a mistake. That calf grew up to be a healthy heifer ON PURPOSE!

… through caretakers diligent work of being on GUARD against sickness.

Flip over to tired Moms.

There are signs that a Busy Mom’s dark side is coming out. Signs that all that you’ve worked for throughout the day will fall flat because you weren’t diligent STILL in the tired evening-time.

1) Have a PLAN:

(for example) I shouldn’t have taken even one cookie. If I had the urging all day to eat a cookie I can probably expect my exhausted self to give in to the dozen cookies at the end of the day. As soon as I put the kids to bed I should have a plan to ignore my urges for the cookie and grab a fruit, chop it up and put it in a bowl of cereal, instead.

My hunger would be satisfied and I wouldn’t have the guilt of eating the dozen.

Because I had a plan!

2) Know your SIGNS:

Nope, not the horoscope kind, but what are your weaknesses? What will you be more likely to do when you are tired that you wish you never would do, and you keep trying not to do?

If you have a thought to watch a movie that you know that you shouldn’t watch. Take that thought as a sign and don’t even turn on the TV or Netflix that night. That one thought could be your ONE sign to grab a book instead.

You can only make a successful plan when you see what is coming at you!

If you don’t know your signs — think back to other times, when you have given into your weakness.

What happened just before you gave in?

What was your thought process?

What was the physical set up?

Write down what led to your “downfall” literally!

These are your signs! This is your roadmap. Don’t be depressed by this step, but be proactive.

3) Be on PURPOSE:

Set yourself up for success! Back to the cookie example: if cookies are SUCH a huge temptation for me. I need to make it a rule for myself “No cookies in this house.”

Be creative and come up with a different solution.

If you know that once you sit in that LazyBoy or some other favourite spot you’ll do what you always do. Switch up your spots. Control the pieces of your environment that you can, to be on purpose to change a habit. No one will change it for you. Or hand you that healthy lifestyle that you crave without that “dark side” thing that keeps popping up.

It may get a little messy wading through the “dark side”, but as any Busy Mom knows — you need to make a big mess before you really can tidy up! Make it happen! (you can do it)

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We can struggle with; yelling at our kids, gluttony, watching junky shows, lust, staying up to late, pride, depression, overwhelming negative thoughts of what went wrong that day, complacency, constant last-minute frantic rushing, etc…

There are so many things that we can be strong about during the day-time, only to give in at the last hours of our evening-time.

Guard your heart Busy Mom. Have a plan. Know your signs, Be on Purpose and START to change ONE thing tonight. You can do it! I will be too.

By: Sharon Schuler

photo credit:pixabay

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By Sharon Schuler

Hi! My name is Sharon. I am: a Canadian, a dairy farmers wife, and a stay at home mom of 4 kids. But most important to me; a follower of Jesus. Welcome to my blog 'A Place Called Home' - The feeling of being at 'Home' is something that looks so different for each one of us, but is completely universal as we each have our 'home'; by living the life where we are at on purpose and with some encouragement!

34 Comments

  1. Reply

    Tasheena @ SimplyTasheena.com

    November 29, 2016

    Great post! I agree that having a plan is defiantly helpful.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 29, 2016

      Thanks for reading Tasheena!
      ~ Sharon =)

  2. Reply

    Divya

    November 29, 2016

    I’m not a mama. But I’m a teacher who is also exhausted at the end of the day and, unfortunately, i give in to my triggers and my signs when I really shouldn’t. Something that has helped is just removing all the junk from my home!

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Good for you for taking a proactive step. It can be really hard!
      ~ Sharon =)

  3. Reply

    Amber Myers

    November 29, 2016

    Yes, having a plan is important. What helps me stay together is making sure I have me time. Also, chocolate helps too.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      I agree, making your own space is SO important… and chocolate! Thanks for reading Amber!
      ~ Sharon =)

  4. Reply

    ROSE

    November 29, 2016

    I do have a breaking point. I stay home with young children then teens come home the other half of the day and sometimes it’s rough. Thankfully not all days but sometimes I just walk upstairs with book and shut the door. My husband is home and the big kids can take care of themselves so all will be ok with the universe and better if I leave.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      That alone time can be so important to not break. All the best to you Rose!
      ~ Sharon =)

  5. Reply

    Susan Landry

    November 29, 2016

    Such valuable advice! And I just love a good analogy. My biggest struggle is that I “know” these steps to success…but I “want” the cookie. 🙂 Going back to the analogy, though–if I want the results, the steps are necessary to get there. That is the reminder I need to keep in my head!

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      I’m glad you liked the analogy! And you are SO right — doing = the hardest part. All the best Susan!
      ~ Sharon =)

  6. Reply

    Lennae Stubbs

    November 29, 2016

    A great read, I know my signs. It’s usually when I am exhausted and that usually results in comfort eating (mine is always chocolate).

    Lennae xxx
    http://www.lennaesworld.com

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Thanks for sharing your experience Lennae.
      ~ Sharon =)

  7. Reply

    Aish Das-Padihari

    November 29, 2016

    I’m a mom and I relate to your post.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      No more needs to be said 😉
      ~ Sharon

  8. Reply

    Krystal // The Krystal Diaries

    November 29, 2016

    It’s definitely important to understand and know your signs. Thanks for sharing this post.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Thanks Krystal!
      ~ Sharon =)

  9. Reply

    blair villanueva

    November 29, 2016

    Always have a concrete plan. But also always have plan B & C .

    Its always good to have a backup plans.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Oh so true! Thanks for the advice Blair!
      ~ Sharon =)

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Thanks Maky!
      ~ Sharon =)

  10. Reply

    Marie Barber

    November 30, 2016

    I need that plan, thank you 🙂 for me if I’ve eaten right in the day i dont feel like anything at night but not eating proper plus a stressful day leads to snacks at night!

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Thanks Marie for sharing a piece of you!
      ~ Sharon =)

  11. Reply

    Dorothy

    November 30, 2016

    Hey Sharon, I enjoyed this post. Its quite inspiring and I like how positive you are.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Thanks Dorothy!
      ~ Sharon =)

  12. Reply

    The Travle Ninjas

    November 30, 2016

    You are so right on. It’s easy to let fatigue and distraction bring out the worst. Those 3 tips are a simple way to avoid your own dark side.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      Well said! Thanks for reading!
      ~ Sharon =)

  13. Reply

    Valerie

    November 30, 2016

    We live on a farm but no cows. Boo. My hubby used to work for a ranch growing up and raised them. He said, ” if we ever get everything done around here we can get one.” They are so pretty.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      LOL…they are cute…so true Valerie. Maybe one day you’ll get that calf?! Have a great day!
      ~ Sharon =)

  14. Reply

    Daria Harvey

    November 30, 2016

    I love Holsteins! My grandfather had them. But-as for the dark side. Yes, you are EXACTLY right! It’s time for me and I deserve this (fill in the blank) right? That’s the reason I don’t keep a whole list of things in the house. Like crunchy Cheetos. 🙂 Great post!

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      November 30, 2016

      LOL…:) I love that you love Holsteins.
      Your welcome for the post Daria!
      ~ Sharon =)

  15. Reply

    Jasmine Watts

    December 1, 2016

    Such great post, I really enjoyed it! I agree that having a plan is important.

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      December 1, 2016

      Thanks for reading Jasmine!
      ~ Sharon =)

  16. Reply

    Anosa

    December 2, 2016

    I have learnt something new today, how I can take care of a calf but also how to resist my guilty pleasures. Great post

    1. Reply

      Sharon Schuler

      December 2, 2016

      Thank you so much Anosa!
      ~ Sharon =)

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