Guarding Your Heart Against Your Dark Side | 3 things to proactively do!
As Busy Moms we give our all throughout the day. Whether you want to or not — time and nurturing are demanded from you.
At the end of the day Busy Moms are full.
Usually, in our exhaustion and pouring out, there is nothing left at the end of the day.
Which is not a bad thing.
You have given your time and effort to do what you love the most and your heart is full of all the good and the other stuff that went on throughout your day.
Your mind is full of thoughts. Your heart is full of emotions and memories. There’s no more room to stuff more experiences in — at the end of the day.
So here we are full, at the end of the day, and pieces of our dark side can slip in or rise to the surface.
What I mean by dark side is; the things that you guard yourself against because you know it’s your weakness. They are our weaknesses that we are strong with in the day-time, but weak with in — often giving into during the night-time.
They are those things that you KNOW that you and you alone are more susceptible to do or think; when you are tired.
For example: the kids are all in bed. I’m a little hungry, I go for that yummy cookie that has been calling my name all day but I’ve resisted — up until now. BUT NOW I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I’m deserving of some “me” time. I REALLY LOVE COOKIES and I know I shouldn’t have any — but I promise myself “just two” but my “dark side” rises up and takes over. Self-control has fled the scene and when all is said and done… I’ve eaten the dozen cookies that were left — just as I, deep down, excepted that I would.
Dark Side : things that you wish you didn’t do. But things that we all struggle against because we still do them.
This past summer I had the great opportunity to take care of our Holstein calves.
They are SO cute!
They are SO much work!
Why— because they can be so perky and eating well one day. While the next day they can be lying in their huts staring at their wall — sick.
They can get sick really fast because their little bodies are still working on developing an immune system.
They can tell you that they are getting sick too, by giving you signs, to tip you off.
But you, the diligent caretaker have to be aware and constantly looking for these signs.
You can watch energy levels, as a healthy calf will come quickly to their breakfast and eagerly drink it up. A sick calf will not. But before a calf gets really sick, you need to notice and be aware of the sign that it is getting sick. It’s lack of energy and only finishing 1/2 its breakfast is a great sign. Two “bad” feedings in a row and you should be on red alert to DO SOMETHING!
Before your calf gets REALLY sick.
Calves don’t go from healthy to deathly sick without giving you a sign. There is nothing that stands in the calves way of getting deathly sick expect YOU…. It’s YOUR job to protect them!
That’s why they are so much work.
But there is a PLAN — calf care happens ON PURPOSE. A healthy heifer is NOT a mistake. That calf grew up to be a healthy heifer ON PURPOSE!
… through caretakers diligent work of being on GUARD against sickness.
Flip over to tired Moms.
There are signs that a Busy Mom’s dark side is coming out. Signs that all that you’ve worked for throughout the day will fall flat because you weren’t diligent STILL in the tired evening-time.
1) Have a PLAN:
(for example) I shouldn’t have taken even one cookie. If I had the urging all day to eat a cookie I can probably expect my exhausted self to give in to the dozen cookies at the end of the day. As soon as I put the kids to bed I should have a plan to ignore my urges for the cookie and grab a fruit, chop it up and put it in a bowl of cereal, instead.
My hunger would be satisfied and I wouldn’t have the guilt of eating the dozen.
Because I had a plan!
2) Know your SIGNS:
Nope, not the horoscope kind, but what are your weaknesses? What will you be more likely to do when you are tired that you wish you never would do, and you keep trying not to do?
If you have a thought to watch a movie that you know that you shouldn’t watch. Take that thought as a sign and don’t even turn on the TV or Netflix that night. That one thought could be your ONE sign to grab a book instead.
You can only make a successful plan when you see what is coming at you!
If you don’t know your signs — think back to other times, when you have given into your weakness.
What happened just before you gave in?
What was your thought process?
What was the physical set up?
Write down what led to your “downfall” literally!
These are your signs! This is your roadmap. Don’t be depressed by this step, but be proactive.
3) Be on PURPOSE:
Set yourself up for success! Back to the cookie example: if cookies are SUCH a huge temptation for me. I need to make it a rule for myself “No cookies in this house.”
Be creative and come up with a different solution.
If you know that once you sit in that LazyBoy or some other favourite spot you’ll do what you always do. Switch up your spots. Control the pieces of your environment that you can, to be on purpose to change a habit. No one will change it for you. Or hand you that healthy lifestyle that you crave without that “dark side” thing that keeps popping up.
It may get a little messy wading through the “dark side”, but as any Busy Mom knows — you need to make a big mess before you really can tidy up! Make it happen! (you can do it)
We can struggle with; yelling at our kids, gluttony, watching junky shows, lust, staying up to late, pride, depression, overwhelming negative thoughts of what went wrong that day, complacency, constant last-minute frantic rushing, etc…
There are so many things that we can be strong about during the day-time, only to give in at the last hours of our evening-time.
Guard your heart Busy Mom. Have a plan. Know your signs, Be on Purpose and START to change ONE thing tonight. You can do it! I will be too.
By: Sharon Schuler