By definition overwhelmed means: bury or drown beneath a huge mass.
Raise your hand if you’ve been overwhelmed before.
I know I sure have.
In fact that was me just this past week. I would have my-to-do-list done or ready to check off, I would have a piece of paper for a brain dump beside my bed in case I thought of anything before I fell asleep. I would try to pray. I would try to watch a calm movie before bed (aka; Glimore Girls) I would assure myself that things were fine and to stop worrying. But every night before bed I would toss and turn and battle this feeling of being completely overwhelmed.
You know that feeling.
It starts deep in your chest pushing down and hard to ignore.
By the time it’s reached your arms and legs, they are just twitching away with the urgency to “DO SOMETHING”.
There is also this mental mantra that runs through; “I wasn’t a good mom today”, “I didn’t do enough”, “I didn’t listen enough”, “I didn’t”… The feeling of dangling on an edge, and the knowledge that — if I started crying or if I gave up or just started pacing There is this fear that we’d never stop!
Last night I could hold on any longer, and I started sharing how I was feeling with my man. (isn`t someone to talk to GREAT!!) I kept talking and talking and talking. The ache started to ease in my chest a little — I kept talking about my fears and my inadequacy. Then the talking turned to crying and I tried to hold it in (still trying to be the tough girl ***sigh) but he knew I was crying in the dark. He left to get the baby a bottle and gave me my privacy to cry and mourn and pour my heart out in tears.
Which is exactly what I needed.
Have you been there before?
Trying to be the super-mom by holding it all together.
The “I’ve got this attitude”.
Sure you can handle everything.
For a little while right?!
Sooner or later something has got to give.
Usually, it is the mental and emotional on us moms. We live for our hearts. Our hearts can only handle so much.
Know your own limit of what you can and can’t handle.
If you know that you have a busy week coming up but something else comes up to get added to it, say “No” life will go on. You may have other chances in the future that you can say “Yes!” too. But for an overwhelmed mom, ONE MORE THING ADDED ON can be very hard to come back from.
Something has got to give.
WE CAN’T DO IT ALL!
At times there are things that happen that are so far out of our control and we can’t say “No thank you, not this week.” Whether it’s a funeral, a special needs child, another person that’s not followed through on their word. Uncontrollable events do happen in this thing called life.
Having someone to listen to can make all the difference. I know that it has for me.
Things are not “fixed” from being listened to, but I don’t feel like I’m caring a burden around by myself.
Amazingly enough my man had some of the same fears and concerns that I was sharing with him. He also shared some invaluable insight, as he is self-employed and has run through the thought and mental process of “How can I do this better?” Translate this for us moms. How can I listen too my children better? How can I discipline my kids in a better way that they will respond better? How can I help my child with special needs more? What can I do or lose to make my to-do list more efficient? Aren’t these the thoughts that will pull us under and to the edge of “Overwhelmed.” Our fears and our inadequacy’s, possibly even our comparison to other moms that SEEM to have it all together.
My man’s advice was DON’T.
Don’t go for the “How can I?”
but just leave it and enjoy where you are at.
Life is not always pretty.(some parts are but when you are overwhelmed = no parts seem to be) It doesn’t always finish wrapped up in a nice neat bow. There can be so many loose ends that will drive us crazy, IF we let them.
Sometimes we can be so wrapped up in the “how to’s” and “I can do better, and not be this overwhelmed” but sometimes it’s that feeling and pressure of “How to do better” that can overwhelm us.
Trust God with your loose ends.
Trust God to provide your heart with what you need if you JUST let go of the thought “I can do better” For today leave the “I” behind
— “God can do better”
If I sit on my bed at night and think of all the ways I “could have,” “should have,” “done better, “— this feeling of being overwhelmed can fill me up and suck me under.
But if I don’t go for the “How to do better” attitude but sit on my bed at night and think about all the good things that happened, the blessings within me or around me, or the kids behavior of something, (pick even just ONE thing, and hold onto that) that DID go right, then I’m not overwhelmed
and I leave the rest where it lies by trusting God with it. It’s a universal truth that anything you do, say, think, can be improved upon.
Don’t improve yourself
or your kids
or your husband
or your house
or your work or your hobbies….
By: Sharon Schuler
Song for the OVERWHELMED called “Breathe” by: Jonny Diaz